"Land_Yacht_225" (nadenator)
11/10/2015 at 12:22 • Filed to: None
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"Land_Yacht_225" (nadenator)
11/10/2015 at 12:22 • Filed to: None | 1
| 3 |
(stock photo from Google images. I don’t have a good one of ours on my phone. Our’s is Silver with a Black Interior so...use your imagination.)
This is a story about my family’s OTHER temperamental mid-2000s luxury car; my father’s 2004 Jaguar XJ8 Vanden Plas. Henceforth referred to as Humpty-Dumpty, because it was a salvage title and we bought it from the guy who put it back together again. And because my father is perpetually taking out the lower grille and fog lights with chunks of truck tread on the highway and putting all kinds of inexplicable dings and dents in the body work. And who do you think has the thankless responsibility of minimizing the damage that shows? Moi.
Purchased in 2011 with 70,000 miles for $11,000, it is fully loaded for the first year of X350 production. Navigation, front and rear seat heaters, xenon headlamps, and a DVD video system with the signature TV-in-the-headrests-ohmygoditlookssocool....Problem is, the long wheel base body wasn’t ready for production in the first year. There is no 2004 XJ8 L and the VDP is therefore short wheelbase without power rear seats or tray tables. Mea Culpa, I should have done more research. In my defense, my mother (who lusts after her old boss’ Black on Black S-Type R) found the car and was keen to buy it. I was trying to get an embarrassing bright blue 1999 VW New Beetle 1.8T 5-speed we stupidly bought new for full MSRP in 1999 with over 200,000 miles on the clock out of the garage. I may have encouraged the purchase.
Now here’s the real surprise; hitherto it has been as reliable as a Camry. But it’s been driven every day. It hit 140,000 miles a few weeks ago. That’s 70,000 miles in 4 years worth of ‘driven regularly.’ Dad went to his annual IT conference in Vegas, and normally mom would drive the Jag. They switch off during the week as it is. But she was also out of town, back ‘up nort’ as we say where we’re from (Wisconsin). So dear Humpty-Dumpty sat in the garage for 5 days. Upon return, our symptoms are a puddle of brownish, oily, translucent fluid (I said brake fluid. Dad said oil. What do you think the mechanic speculated? Brake fluid. Me: 1) And the instrument cluster says the transmission has a fault, DSC is unavailable, the parking brake isn’t working, and restricted performance. And it wouldn’t shift out of park. It is now at the mechanic’s shop.
I have to say, I’m very proud of how my father handled this. 3 years ago he would have screamed bloody murder, claimed he had been tricked into buying the car. And it wasn’t repairable. But no. He calmly restarted the car until everything went away and proceeded to the mechanic. The man has been successfully re-trained. In the air force, he had a 1968 Cougar with a 302 and an automatic followed by a 1974(?) Camaro. After he got married to my mother he had a Dodge Omni, a Plymouth Horizon, a 1989 Acura Integra, and the 1999 VW Turbo Beetle. Spot the difference. We put him back in something with handling and a V8 and he’s made an about face. Says if the drive-train ever takes a dump he wants to just get the guts of a wrecked XJR and stick that in, make his own Super V8 short wheel base. About face indeed.
The thing about Jags, are fault cascades. When we bought the car, it had 50+ faults recorded on the ECU from EVAP leaks, to misfires, to reduced engine power, and sensor faults galore. The issue? A couple of vacuum hoses had become old and cracked. Replaced them, cleared the faults, and the car was 100% fine. I think this situation is probably similar. The mechanic say’s it’s probably the battery getting run down while the car was sitting. And the brake system on the car has never been touched, so a seal probably dried out. Simple, easy peasy. It’s all Ford products in there anyway, since they owned Jag at the time. And we have a great independent mechanic. Does everything British exclusively. Also services Mother’s 1975 MG Midget, more on that another time when it’s running (it isn’t holding it’s coolant right now). Servicing isn’t nearly as expensive as you would suspect.
Somebody here posed a question a couple days ago on the subject of what possesses people to buy British. I can’t speak for everybody, but I can speak for my family. We bough Jaguar because it looks Old Money in any situation. No matter how dirty the car is, or how old it is (Then again, no non-car person can tell the difference between a 2004 and a 2009 X350), all people see is the leaper. And people will make the assumption you bought it new. And considering one of the cornerstones of my family has been ‘Look rich without actually having the wealth to back it up’ for many years, it works for us. We now have Jaguar XJ, my S-Class and we’ll be replacing the SUV in a couple years. We have a 2003 Chevy Trailblazer EXT LT V8 4WD that we bought new. I am not letting my parents buy a new SUV until it has 250,000 miles on it because we bought it new and we are getting all $32,000 out of the turd. It has 205,000 on it now. They’re thinking a first-generation Cadillac SRX with the optional V8 and all wheel drive. I really want to complete the ‘old money’ trifecta and convince them a Volvo XC90 V8 is the way to go. I probably can. Time will tell.
Good Day to you, my good people.
davedave1111
> Land_Yacht_225
11/10/2015 at 12:30 |
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Humpty-Dumpty sat...in the Garage while Dad was in Vegas.
Humpty-Dumpty developed a brake fluid leak and electrical failures.
All the mechanics (not all of them men)
Couldn’t get Humpty working again.
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Land_Yacht_225
> davedave1111
11/10/2015 at 12:32 |
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Ye of little faith...
bobbe17
> Land_Yacht_225
11/10/2015 at 12:32 |
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Glad to hear it was a simple fix. I’ve named my 2002 Passat Humpty Dumpty as well since I had to put things back together again so often. Drivetrain-wise it’s been reliable as well, sitting at 196,000 miles now. Seems like the secret to having a reliable unreliable car is to let it know you’re onto its reputation and name it accordingly.